Shorts Guy

I had an estate sale this morning in West Allis. The ad read, "lots of costume jewelry," so I was anxious to see if that meant rhinestone jewelry, or just a bunch of jingle bell earrings. The sale opened at 9:00, and I decided to be there around 8:30. Of course, I left the house a little late and it took me a longer to get there than expected, so I when I arrived at 8:45 and saw the street lined with about 25 cars, my heart sank. When am I going to realize I need to get to these things earlier?

I walked up to the porch to put my name down on the sign-up sheet. I was number 32. Yikes. It was a very small house, so I knew they would only be letting a handful of people in at a time. This could be a long wait. I went back to my car and played some "Angry Birds" on my phone to keep me occupied. I saw them let some people in at 9:00, and finally about 9:15, I decided to go wait outside for my turn. I'm thankful it wasn't super cold out. It was almost 40 degrees, which is downright balmy this time of year in Wisconsin. However, I had to question why the man next to me was wearing shorts. C'mon dude...it's not that nice. My mom always said it had to be 70 degrees before we could wear shorts. This guy was 30 degrees off.

A few people trickled out of the home with random household goods (some old speakers, pots and pans, etc). They weren't really letting more people in, which was irritating to me and everyone else waiting out there. There was about 20 people standing around. I wondered how many they had let in originally. At this rate, I was going to be out here all morning, and I wasn't sure it was worth it. I am a little bit of a "Negative Nelli" and in my pessimistic brain, all the good stuff was going to be scooped up by the other 31 people ahead of me. Should I stay? I knew what my husband would say if he were there, "You're here, you might as well stick it out. You're in no hurry." Okay...he would be right (I hate that he is always right).

Just then, they let some more people in the house. Someone shouted, "What number you at?!" "Twenty-nine!" the woman responded. Oh! That isn't so bad. Just a few more people and I would be in. That's right about the time that the dude in shorts walked up to me and asked, "What number are you?" I told him I was number 32. "Oh wow," he says. "I'm number 60-something." Um, dude, there is no way they had 60 people on that list. "Do you think I could say I'm with you and we could go in together?" Hell no buddy! Wait you turn like everybody else! I played kinda dumb and said, "Well, I don't know if they'd let us go in as a pair, and I doubt there are 60 people here." He said, "Yeah, I just don't want to wait out here in the cold." Well put some pants on for God's sake! He then referenced his bare legs and I said, "Yeah, I was wondering what you were thinking showing up in shorts." He laughed and THAT, my friends, is when it started to get weird.

He said, "Yeah, well, I'm getting vitamin D from the sun and nobody else is. A lot of people don't get enough vitamin D." I said, "Yeah, I take a supplement for that." I wish I wouldn't have said that. He then proceeded to go off on a tyrant about supplements and how there are 2 kinds of vitamin D (D-Alpha and something else) and most of us take the wrong one. "If you just go to Walgreen's you are gonna get the wrong one," he says matter-of-factly.  I said, "Well, my husband is a Nurse Practitioner, so I just take what he tells me to." Then he moved onto Omega 3 Fish Oil. Apparently, (according to the Shorts Guy) the body needs 8x more Omega 6 than Omega 3, and when he looked at the Omega 3 at Pick 'N Save, there was NO Omega 6 listed in the ingredients. I didn't know what to say other than, "Interesting." I mean, maybe he's right, but I certainly didn't care.

Okay...so then he says, "You know, I'll be 59 in June, and I'm in great shape. I can jump really high (on account of all the Vitamin D he gets from wearing shorts, I'm sure)." He goes on to tell me that "back in the day" he used to shoot hoops with professional basketball players at Wilson Park, and then he starts dropping names like crazy. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the only one I can remember. He told me how he blocked the jumpshot of a guy who was 6'6" and how some other guy was up on the hill smoking pot. 

Then he says, "If you're not doing anything July 26th, there's this party we do at the park. You should come." At first, I was kinda creeped out. Was he hitting on me? And then he proceeds to list the millions of things they will have at the party. Now picture me saying the following in a Napoleon Dynamite voice:  Lawn darts... Bocce Ball... Movie Trivia... Music Trivia... Swing Ball... Volleyball...Oh, and one of those slingshots that you put water balloons in....and a Keg of Miller High Life...which is all free with a $10.00 admission. Awesome, I'll clear my calender (sarcasm). Also, you may all be interested to know that he sets up the volleyball net to be 4" higher than his fingertips can reach, and he is STILL able to jump so his elbow reaches the top of the net. Wow, Shorts Guy, WOW.

At this point, I am dying for someone to let me in the house so that I can get away from Shorts Guy. Then he asks, "Hey, I am only here for the red Omega blender. I busted my sister's so I owe her one, and this way I figure I can get it for five or ten bucks. Maybe if you go in there and it's still there, you could just buy it for me." Okay Shorts Guy, at this point, I am tired of you, so "sure," I'll get you your blender. Luckily, the front door of the house opened and they called a few more people in, including me. Thank you Lord!

I walked in, focused on my jewelry mission (and trying to forget about Shorts Guy). I was actually impressed with their jewelry selection, and spent five minutes picking out a few good pieces. Then I walked in the kitchen, and there was the the red blender staring back at me. It was $15.00. He thought he'd get it for $5-$10. Forget it, Shorts Guy, I'm not going to make that decision for you. I proceeded to pay for my items, and as I was doing so, they let more people into the house, including Shorts Guy. Number 60-something my ass. I was actually relieved that he got in when he did so that I didn't have to explain to him as I left the house why I didn't get him his blender.  I pointed him in the direction of the kitchen, and said, "In there..15 bucks." And that was the last time I ever saw Shorts Guy.

So all in all, a good morning. My trip was successful jewelry-wise. Next time, I will be sure to get there earlier so that I can be sure to get first-dibs on the jewelry and avoid awkward conversations with random people like Shorts Guy. Lesson learned.

Today's finds

Cabin Fever Reliever

After a series of failed estate sales and jewelry-finding ventures (none worthy-enough to write about), I was beginning to feel as though I was running out of options to find reasonably priced vintage jewelry to play with. My frustration came to a peak a couple weeks ago after I sat at an auction for nearly 5 hours and left with nothing but a numb butt. Am I just going to have to wait until flea market season? Or do I just keep trucking and try to dig deeper? On one hand, I don't want to run all over "Timbucktoo" going to any advertised rummage sale (especially with how expensive gas is right now), but on the other, I feel like it is those odd-ball places that I'll find jewelry for good prices without having to compete with antique dealers.

This past week, there weren't too many advertised sales (I think there was only one in the "estate sales" section of the Classifieds), but there was a flea market in at the Knights of Columbus building in West Allis Sunday morning. It was called the Cabin Fever Reliever, which was quite appropriate seeing as how I've been crawling out of skin waiting for spring flea markets. I decided I wanted to go check it out. I had been sick (like "barfing and can't get out of bed" sick) earlier in the week, and I was still feeling a little sluggish when Sunday morning rolled around. I knew I had to go though. This could be my only chance for a flea market in the next 2 months.

My husband offered to come with (awww...so sweet, right?), and as we came upon the building, we saw cars everywhere. The parking lot was full and the side streets were filling up fast. Uh-oh...the flea market had literally been open for 5 minutes and I could already picture people snatching up my jewelry. We found a spot on a side street and hurried to the building. We walked in to a sea of people (and a man insistent on drawing a line on our hand with a black Sharpie...thanks buddy...that will be great when I have to go to work later). The place was packed and if the fire marshall was there, he wouldn't have been happy. Aisles were barely wide enough for 2 people to walk past each other, and if you know me, you know that I have a tendency to get a little panicky when in a crowded room. (just ask my husband...all I have to do is take one deep breath and he knows that I want to get. the. hell. out. now.)

Nonetheless, I charged on, scanning for jewelry. Sometimes when I am at estate sales and flea markets, I feel like that dog from that commercial, "Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, BACON!!" only for me, it's "jewelry, jewelry, jewelry, JEWELRY!!" The first few stops were misses. Christmas tree pins, plastic beads, 1980's triangle earrings, etc. Then I found a booth with some "diggers delight" boxes full of jewelry, and there was actually some nice stuff in there. I found eight items in all, including an Art Deco rhinestone brooch and several pair of interesting earrings. I will "dig" through boxes all day long if I can find decent jewelry for reasonable prices.

I found a couple other miscellaneous items, but nothing to get too excited over. Then my husband spotted a dealer who had several trays of jewelry (It's nice to have a 6'4" husband with you in a crowded room). He got to the table first and immediately picked up a huge rhinestone brooch. Of course I loved it, but figured it would be out of my price range. When he turned over the price tag, I nearly jumped up out of my pants. It was a GREAT price. Much better than what I typically see for the size. He grabbed another rhinestone piece, a little smaller, and another great price. She only had one other rhinestone pin, a bow, and again the price was lower than I usually see. I was willing to pay full price on all these, and without any prompt from us, the woman says, "I can do better on all those prices." Uhhhh....okay! Most of the time, vendors will go down a little on prices, but not a ton... maybe 10-20%. This woman went down over 25% off her marked prices (which were already low!) Wow....I was ecstatic. That transaction MADE my day.

After that, I was pretty ready to get. the. hell. out. now. There were so many people in there, I was beginning to get rather warm, and my leftover "sickness" was starting to act up again. It felt good to get out of there and back into the fresh air...and what felt even better was knowing that it had been a worthwhile trip. I left with a total of 18 items. Pretty good for an hour at a small flea market. Now I can't wait to design some new jewelry around them!


Sunday's Treasures



The best find of the day